Lady Ninja Damsel (Not-So) in Distress

How Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Unlocked My Inner Warrior, Softened My Edges, and Strengthened My Soul

I know this title may offend a few of those who I have built a profound respect for across the past ten months. Truly, it is not my intention to do so. This is simply a reflection on an internal dialogue I had while carrying an arm full of groceries back to my apartment in broad daylight. (Yes, I’d like to tell you it was in a dimly lit lurker-filled alley; but it wasn’t — it was in the safety of noontime sunlit Laguna Beach.)

Simply put, I thought maybe the title would catch your attention, and once I got it, I could spark a little curiosity in you about learning the gentle, spiritual, flowing art of Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

Wait, Brazilian What?

Right, I had no idea either. Perhaps you do, and now I feel silly — but oh well. This is a glimpse into my headspace and honesty is paramount.

Lesson 1 (Originally Written 2.21.15): How It All Began

Truth be told, I started taking lessons from the UFC GYM head instructor, Mauricio “Tinguinha” Mariano, so I could be a savvy marketer. I was tapped to help roll out the UFC GYM BJJ program nationwide and wanted to understand the who, what, where, why, and when of it — to tell the story with a bit more credibility (read: don’t mistake roll for maki or shrimper for something I order at my local sushi joint).

Then something shifted. It happened immediately.

Mauricio told me BJJ is a lifestyle, a culture with lineage, a brotherhood and sisterhood. He shared the history of BJJ — from its roots in Japanese self-defense to its transformation in Brazil and the legacy of the Gracie family.

The sister in me immediately wanted in.

An Athlete Reborn

I’ve played competitive sports my entire life — 34 years of base-running, ball-hitting, bat-swinging, bump-passing, sand-digging, slope-swooshing, wave-diving, muddy-hill-conquering athleticism. (Ah crap, now you know my age.)

Six years ago I began practicing yoga, and one year ago I dedicated myself to Ashtanga — a demanding, disciplined style of yoga. When I wrote this, I worked at UFC GYM and every morning I’d race in early, hijack the AUX cord, blast a yogi-eclectic mix (Stones, Queen, and ODB meet Dennon, Murdoch, and Franti), roll out my mat between heavy bags, and flow through a mash-up of Ashtanga and Vinyasa.

Namast-eh meets MMA.

The Gi, The Grind, and The Grace

Traditional BJJ is practiced wearing a gi, a kimono-like uniform. You earn stripes and belts based on your demonstrated progress. It’s an individual journey. When asked, “How long will it take me to…” the answer is always: “As long as it takes you.”

As in yoga, so it is in jiu-jitsu — the reward is in what you earn through discipline and practice. A belt means nothing if you haven’t lived through the grind, nor does a handstand if you haven’t worked for the inversion and all it teaches your body and mind.

Respect is paramount. You bow before entering the mat to honor the lineage, your teachers, your partners. As Renzo Gracie says:
“My opponent is my teacher, my ego is my enemy.”

Cauliflower Ears & Crocodile Rolls

Yes, it’s a chess match. And yes, it’s weird — at first. I’ve flailed like a flipped turtle and kicked like a carp leaping waves. But then came the Jacare — when I got to channel a crocodile and a bear all in one fierce, crawling, rolling move.

I’ve been proud of my first gi hickey, nursed ribs too sore for yoga, celebrated looser hips and knees, chuckled at popped blood vessels from triangle holds, and honored collarbones that like to dance in and out of place. I’ve cried in frustration, bowed in gratitude, and trusted my teammates deeply.

Please note: “OH MAN! She has such sweet cauliflower ears!”
~ said: No Man Ever.

The Flow of Self-Defense

BJJ may seem chaotic at first — but give it weeks and you’ll see the elegance. It is intimate, mindful, and deeply cooperative. It demands trust: your partner could snap your bones, but doesn’t. Over time, fluidity emerges, and you begin to move like water.

In Sanskrit, vinyasa means “to place with care.” And though I haven’t yet found the Portuguese equivalent, I feel its essence in every calculated transition — in how I place my limbs, activate obscure muscles, shift my weight, and attempt to control yours.

Someday, I will flow around you, encircle you, dominate you — and respectfully, humbly, submit you.

Empowered, Aware, Alive

BJJ neutralizes brute force in favor of strategy and specificity. Like baseball, it’s a game of inches. And like yoga, it’s a practice that fosters presence, patience, and power.

I am stronger than I ever knew.
Calmer under stress.
More empowered in my being.

And now, dear dark-alley lurker — I am your worst prey.
I am the lady-ninja-damsel-not-so-in-distress.
Attack me, if you dare.

Why I Share This With You

As women, we move through the world alert to shadows — parking garages, stairwells, even our own front doors. I’m not trying to sell you on jiu-jitsu. I believe the practice will endear itself to you on its own.

I just want to share what I’ve learned…
And maybe spark a little ninja in you too.